One thing to always remember, if you have not already experienced being arrested and being placed in jail in Maricopa County - dress warm and be prepared to wait a really, really long time.
My processing time between being arrested and arriving at Estrella Jail, was approximately, 18 hours. Yes, 18 hours!!!
In that 18 hours, I was arrested, transported to "intake", transported to court, arraigned in court, had my fingerprints taken twice, 2 different locations, mug shot take twice, again 2 different locations, given a pregnancy test (which is really funny since I told 2 different people I had a hysterectomy over 10 years ago). Nice waste of the county's money. Each time I was herded into another holding cell. Each holding cell was colder than then the last one. Each cell was looking and feeling like a meat locker, since we were treated like cattle, might as well be cold for the slaughter. If Joe wants to save some money, turn the air conditioning up.
However, one of the first things I learned in my holding status, was how to make huge spit balls from the 1 ply toilet paper and slam it up into the air conditioning vent to stop some of the cold air. It is quite an art to have just enough wetness in the toilet paper and the force to make it stick.
You quickly learned that those who had be in these facilities before. These ladies were smart enough to wear the proper attire for the holding and herding process. Amazing enough, these people wore 2 pairs of pants, couple of shirts and most important socks. Yes, its that cold - remember if you are ever arrested please dress accordingly - dress for the Arctic.
Once, it was determined that I would be checking into the fine Estrella Jail accommodations, I was then given my new black and white striped shirt with the words "Unsentenced" printed on the back and the matching pants. Now how could the outfit be complete without the very famous stylish pink sports bra, panties and socks. Please remember, the clothing was not "new" as in newly purchased, new as as in new to me.
After I "changed out", I was then herded back to another holding cell to await a final transport to Estrella Jail.
Upon my arrival to "Intake" at Estrella Jail, the fun begins. I need to mention that I have never been to jail before - so the procedures were all new to me. So, after I arrived at Intake at Estrella, I was placed in a small cell, with several other women - most of which had the same long day I had.
Along the one wall of the cell was toilet - just as most of us has seen on TV or in movies, with on major difference, most of the TV toilets are clean, this I would have swore had not been cleaned since it was installed 10 years ago! (I did later learn that was not the case!)
So after waiting, and waiting, and waiting and still more more waiting I was given the jail handbook. I was asked to sign the back page and give back to the Detention Officer (DO's). I stupidity ask if I could read the handbook before I signed the acknowledgement page. Hey,I wanted to make sure I agreed with the finer points of my accommodations. I was prompting told to read it on my time not the DO's because she had better things to do, not realizing that the best part of the DO's nightly duties would included seeing me naked.
The fine specimen of a female DO finally opened the holding cell and told 3 of us to exit. I went willingly - stupid stupid move. But since the 3 of us that were ask to exit were all newbies to jail, we dutifully did as instructed. The kind DO who was about as sensitive a road killed about our first time to jail, pointed for the 3 of us to go another room. I kept thinking great another waiting room - WRONG!!!
Upon entering into the room as directed - there were 3 shower stalls - yes this begins my first of many strip searches during my stay. How many of us willing take off all our clothes, lift our breasts for inspection then bend over at the waist, place our hands on our butts checks spread them apart and cough 3 times for a perfect stranger?? Really - come on now!! However, to enjoy the accommodations of Estrella Jail, one must preform this before entering. Did I happen to mention the DO yelling at you the whole time?? Yes, this does happen everyday several times a day, each and every day of the week.
So, after I was thoroughly inspected, including crevices, for any contraband I was permitted to put on my new wardrobe again and guess where I went next? You guessed it, yet another holding cell to wait again.
After awhile, another DO opened up holding cell and asked for 4 us to step out in to the lobby of Intake area.
At this point, at least for me I had been awake for about 20 hours. I was getting slightly tired. The DO, handcuffed us, and then had the guts to tell us to grab one of the bags sitting next to the doors leading into the guest dorms. The bag included, the mattress for the bunk, a pink sheet, a pink blanket, a pink towel,(notice a theme) a blue towel,a gray night gown, a toothbrush with toothpaste and a black comb. Did I mention, being awake for over 20 hours by this time?? I obediently grabbed the bag. The DO instructed me and my 3 other companions to walk with our bags, do not forget I was handcuffed, down a long hallway. Again, being scared to death and tired - I did as instructed. As I struggled down the hallway with each companion, each person was dropped off to a dorm. Thank goodness, I was finally dropped off at my dorm "K". The ever so kind DO, opened the door to the dorm, instructed me to enter. Upon my entrance to the dorm, is where I learned the time. Yes, I did the forbidden, I glanced at the DO's watch, shhh. This brief act of disobedience is when I learned the time was 2:48 AM!!
By now I was past exhausted and only wanted sleep. I really had no idea what was going on and what to expect next. The Dorm DO, told me to go to the bunk number XXX. The DO informed me I needed to remember my bunk number, because that would be how I received all my instructions. I mumbled under my breath about having it tattooed on my arm - wrong thing to say to a DO in the middle of the night. They have eagle ears. I was told to check my smart-ass at the door. I was tired, sorry.
Anyway, me and my bag of goodies went to fine our bunk. We were really good friend by now, I had dragged it along now for what felt like several miles! I found my bunk, promptly open my bag of goodies. I placed the mattress as quietly as I could in the bunk frame, laid the sheet on the bunk, placed my toothbrush, toothpaste and comb under the mattress and finally I placed my weary body in the bunk without changing into the night gown, I placed my head down on mattress. Awe the mattress, that I so lovingly dragged down the hall way, it was a trader - it was so thin I could feel the metal of the bunk bed. So, I got as comfortable as any unsentenced prisoner could possible get and my accommodations would allow. Then I looked to my left and wonder what my bunk mate would be like, I hoped and prayed she would be nice. All of a sudden there was some movement a from underneath a pink blanket, soon a head with long black hair raised from out underneath looked at me and said, "What the f@#k?
I smiled and laid my head down and went to sleep. I would live to see another day.
It took me about 18 hours to go through processing too, if you read my blog. It's a good thing I ate breakfast because I wouldn't get fed till the next day, not that I had much of an appetite, and not that I could stand most of the food which mostly consisted of overly spicy hotdogs and sausages. Oh, and I too, remember the old t-paper routine for the vents.
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